TRIGGERS - LIFE'S LESSONS & BREAK THROUGHS

What a great honour it is to be an Executive Contributor for BRAINZ. Digital Magazine, sharing my experience and wisdom with thought leaders and spiritual teachers from across the world. Experiencing betrayal in 2025, I was triggered and inspired to create this article, Triggers – Life’s Lesson’s & Break Throughs.

Author, Sportsman, Coach and Mentor with over 35 Years Experience: Born in Hull, UK, experiencing family difficulties and separation, I grew up in a children’s home from the aged of 6 to 15. Leaving school with no qualifications or direction, caught up in the negative influences of life on the streets, drugs, crime, losing my way, aged 17 I experienced a deep depression. Reconnecting with long distance running and football-soccer, instilled in me at school, I went through a mental breakdown and an emotional break through, an awakening, connecting to the universal flow of potential. Becoming a sportsman, playing semi-professional soccer-football at he age of 19, coaching in the UK, America and Australia, boxing amateur and professional boxer, I retired from fighting in 1997, to find my calling, working in a school for alternative learning, with youth experiencing emotional and challenging behaviour. Developing my BoxWize Skills concept, teaching the boxing fundamentals with no physical contact, I started coaching and mentoring these young people how to control, release and channel emotional stress and physical energy positively, improving energy, focus and skills for life. Soon working within mainstream schools, with youth projects, young offenders, professional athletes from premiership football- soccer, Great Britain rugby league, working with boxing world champions who would support my work within projects and schools.

28 Years – Studying Stress – Human Biology, Behaviour – Human Technology: Studying stress, human biology and behavior for over 28 years, creating my concept human technology. Experiencing adversity and great change, becoming a dad, bringing a Canadian boy in to the world, in 2014 I would come to live and work in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. It’s been a fascinating journey, co-creating my work  whilst stuck in the immigration system, jumping through hoops, life’s been challenging. Creating The EnergyWize University Of Life in 2018, further developing and promoting BoxWize, going on CTV Morning Live Show, working out of The Legends Family Training Centre, sharing my knowledge and skills, training young hockey players, youth, families, delivering workshops, projects within the homeless shelters and guest speaking in schools. Self publishing my first book, Activating ‘The Universal’ Flow in December 2022.  I’ve seen so much change over the last 11 years, nothing more than the the impact of the 2020 global pandemic. A world weakened and polarized by the stress, trauma, fear event after fear event, the confusion and division, many of us taken over, emotionally tired, anxious and worn out.

Triggers – Life’s Lessons and Break Throughs: It’s been fascinating to see how people perceive life’s triggers, ‘your triggered’, what’s your problem when it can be a shared experience. ‘Your triggered’ when a heated conversation needs resolving. ‘Your triggered’, we need to stop fighting, don’t say what you feel, don’t express your emotions, keep your thoughts to yourself, keep quiet, hold it all in, just bury it and say no more. What I have come to learn is how important our triggers are, it’s how they show up, how our emotions can test us without taking over, how our emotions can be our great teachers, how the energy in motion can guide us. It’s important to learn that we are not our thoughts, feelings and emotions, life is a process, and when we learn to recognize reaction from response, we move from the head back to the heart. In a world where anger and aggression can drive our passion, in the rise of the spiritual warrior, now in a time you’ve got to have some fight, your triggers can fire us through life’s personal battles, empower you and those around you. The truth is, many of us have lost the fight and drive, asleep at the wheel, before you know it, your tires are flat and you’re going nowhere!. When you learn to be the observer, that we are not our thoughts, feelings and emotions, that its just a process, when we recognize the value that triggers can bring in to our life’s and through experiences, we can find the heart and the willingness to face the uncomfortable truth. Embrace the charge, feel it through, triggers, life’s lessons and break throughs that allow us to learn, grow and release our true inner potential.

Human Biology – Our Reactive Caveman Software: Freeze, Flight, Fight, Fawn, Fake and Flake: Working in alternative learning since 1997, on my journey of healing and self discovery, I started studying about our left and right brain hemisphere’s and how the right brain that absorbed sensory information, can switch off when overloaded. Fascinated and experiencing brain gym, I implemented it in to my boxing concept ‘BoxWize’. Activating human technology, teaching young people how to switch on and tune in, activating whole brain function, learning to control, release and channel emotional stress and physical energy positively, improving emotional awareness and heart-mind intelligence. In this technology information age of excessive stimulation and over thinking, many social media and alternative platforms can offer amazing content, life skills, spiritual guidance and more. However, in a world of miss, dis information, news, propaganda, social media chat rooms, sensitivity and conflict, the ability to discern information as become extreme and super challenging, leading to many of us to getting stuck in our heads, stuck in the left brain. Unaware of our human biology, running our reactive caveman software on our internal hard drive and operating system, overwhelmed by fear and stress, in survival mode, experiencing the invisible Woolley Mammoth or Sabre Tooth Tiger, stuck in reaction many of us can; Freeze – we shut-down, Flight – we run away, Fight – the challenge to stay in control, and Fawn – to people please. On my journey of studying human behaviour, seeing stress and fear taking over, I’ve come to add Fake and Flake to reactive behaviours. The Fake, are those who have a front, a pretence, an ego driven mentality that hides behind a mask, that retreats in the battle, somebody caught in the act, full of talk but no action. The Flake is somebody portraying to be in control, strong but inconstant with following through and getting the job done. The king of excuses, struggling with the emotions, somebody who can’t handle the heat, like a chocolate fire guard that melts under pressure. Once we come to recognize and internalize the negative reactions and patterns of behaviour in ourselves, we can then create powerful and lasting change in life.

Parenting Triggers – Like The Wild Wild West!: There’s no doubt that being a parent in this technology information age can bring the many stressors and triggers. There’s no handbook or manual, just the influences, support and guidance around you. Through the external influences and drivers around us, access through phones and devices, our children growing up in a world bombarded by the over stimulation, easy access and negative  influences of technology, video gaming, melt downs, the reactive programming and social conditioning impacting our children’s behaviour. Parenting triggers, it can feel hands on, gun fire ready to implement tough love, boundaries, discipline, self-responsibility, respect and good values, were a child learns the right way or the hard way. Managing our relationships and life, separation, co-parenting, triggered, we can get lost in the moment, like a gun fight at the O.K. Corral. Bullets flying, your child caught up in the cross fire, like the wild wild west, the pain and suffering hitting home. Overtime, learning to disarm, coming together, an observant child can go through the process to feel the love and reconnection. Allowing us to guide our children through the world of influence, distractions, temptations and chaos.

Pulling The Trigger: Sports, Coaching and Mentorship:  Playing semi-professional football-soccer back in my home city of Hull in the north of the UK, it was intense training on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and Saturday afternoon it was game on. Working class lads, tough characters, competitive games played at high intensity, reputations on line, it was physical, challenging, demanding, phycological head games, you was in the battle. Boxing amateur and professional it was next level, self discipline, just you, your fear and drive, early morning runs and intense training. Sparring sessions that would hit hard, test your mindset, the heart and gut check, how much do you want it. The big fight, fear of the unknown, into the ring, ammunition ready, ding ding the bell rings and its go time. You’re in control, in the moment, fired up, controlling aggression, first to pull the trigger, you’re in the battle and winning the war. Over the years and retiring from professional boxing in 1997, I would enjoy the challenge of training and coaching football-soccer teams. Becoming a coach, you got to get your soldiers ready, fire them up with a good team talk, then send them out to battle. Control, skill, drive and determination, pulling the trigger, live and direct, in the moment, calling it out, firing things up, hitting your point home, getting those big goals. Pulling the trigger, in the game, half time team talk, making those decisions, uncomfortable changes, coaching and mentoring different personalities. Some players need a hug, some need a knuckle sandwich and words of encouragement. Some need that look in the eye, a truth bomb and a straight forward rocket up the jacksy!.

Triggered For a Good Shoot Out – Calling It Out: Sharing some different perspectives, you can see in sport through the physical impact, when emotions are running high, triggers in the moment, a release, an instant shoot out, an outburst, a good in your face swear fest. Often, like in NHL hockey, when there’s friction, a burst of adrenaline, when it’s time to go, the gloves are down and its game on, more often ending in good sportsmanship. However, through life and its many stressors and challenges, at home, education, in the work place, there can be a little friction in the kitchen and somethings brewing!. People hiding behind their actions, ignorant to their behaviours, there’s something in the air, you can feel it, sense it, there’s a buildup driving you inside, a need to say something. Reactivity, body language, the look in the eyes, wrong choice words, a slip of the tongue, the bullets are loaded, your triggered for a good shootout and it’s time to call it out. Get if off your chest, work it all out, It’s better out than in, harsh words firing in, caught in the cross fire, the bullets hit a nerve, the truth can hurts, potential fallout, there’s emotional damage that needs repair. Triggers in business, leadership, coaching and mentorship, triggers can be everywhere, aware of reactive patterns of behaviour, the challenge to not take it personal when there’s a conflict of the ego’s!. Learning to let go or holding on, unforgiving, like taking a poison and expecting somebody else to suffer. Triggered for a good shoot out can be a heated and challenging conversation, testing emotional awareness, feeling it through we can experience wisdom, bringing good stuff to the surface. Triggering an idea, co creating something, the feeling of accomplishment, sharing some new found perspective with somebody. Disarming The Trigger!: 16 years of working as a doorman in pubs and club, when alcohol starts loading the bullets for fight, when a strong presence and good communication can disarm a potential shoot out or sometimes the triggers been pulled.

Triggered By Betrayal – Loading The Bullets With No Shame: Triggered by betrayal was a new for me. I’ve always lived by a code of conduct, your word is your honour, an handshake, and that look of trust in the eyes always sealed the deal. Now in a time of experiencing dirty tricks and dishonesty, some people can’t help themselves, money and trust is taken over by greed, temptation and opportunity too good to deny. At a time in my life were betrayal could have taken over, managing that feeling of wanting to put somebody’s lights out like back in the time before the discipline of boxing and developing my work, staying in control was a great challenge.  Sharing my experience and the process with friends, I come to find betrayal is very common in today’s world. Developing a great partnership needs input, bringing value, commitment, good communication, truth, transparency, goals and financial investment. Bringing a wealth of wisdom, years of commitment, great investment in time, financial input holding a company together, working with a brand that had become a side hustle with a great front, an ego booster to could carry on those Corporate travels. Lack of communication, commitment drifting, the person in mind taken over by work overload, I could see the lack of energy, will and desire, a great purpose and vision lost along the way. Suspicious moves, betrayers hide behind their actions. the end of a development phase in sight, the word’s you hear ‘It’s all over, there’s nothing left!.

What Is The Universe Teaching Me – What Do I Need To Learn: When asking for a meeting, wow, I remember these word’s clearly, ‘It’s all over there’s nothing left’. Taken over by the disbelief, the abuse of my circumstances, stuck in the immigration system, more words, ‘I kept you in the country’, wow this dudes done a 180!. The end, no communication, disconnect, trying to call out the truth, work things out was met with arrogance and ignorance all wrapped up in denial, the look in the eyes with no shame, caught in the act with an unwillingness to take responsibility. Was it desperation or was it a privileged twat from a dog eat dog corporate world of competition, lacking truth and integrity. Seeing the struggle mentality, in survival mode, once you lie, once they have committed to the move, avoidance met with justifying lies, betrayers dig a deeper hole. They bunker in, loading the bullets, preparing the reactive triggers, looking for their own ammunition to use against you. Asking myself, why did I attract this situation, what’s the universe teaching me, what do I need to learn, experiencing an act so low would take me on a deep dive through deception.

Downloading, Grounding & Integrating – The Deep Dive Through Deception: One thing I know for sure is when you seek the truth, your heart will always guide you through the process. Learning to activate our human technology, switched on and tuned in, our bright response software on our internal hard drive and operating system interconnected to the electromagnetic universal flow. Our 3 brains, the head, heart and gut instinct, all synergistically working together, thoughts electric, emotions magnetic and like frequencies, our hearts electromagnetic, like a transmitters and receivers. Universal downloads, thoughts, feelings and emotions, grounding and integrating, using insight and intuition, going on a deep dive through deception, experiencing an ocean of emotions, energy is in motion, emotional awareness and heart-mind intelligence, feeling through, emotions like teachers, experience teaching wisdom. Back to earth!, In the driving seat, hands on the wheel, your hearts passion driving you through, leaving the past behind. Moving on, moving from reaction to response, feeling inspired to share my perspective, writing this article on how important triggers are in life, how they show up, how life’s triggers can take us on a journey, teaching us valuable lessons, going deeper we can experience life’s great break throughs.

Has you can see, taking the road less travelled, over many years of learning, enduring the tough times and personal challenges,  developing The BoxWize Skills System, established in 1997, is still going strong and will going online as a training system in 2026, 30 years in development in 2027.

You can check out Carl’s work at The EnergyWize University Of Life – energywize.ca

Co-creator of The Empower 2 Recover Foundation –  empower2recover.com /

Co-creator of The GRC Project – Global Recovery Community / globalrecoverycommunity.com