TRIGGERS - LIFE'S LESSONS & BREAK THROUGHS

What a great honour it is to be an Executive Contributor for BRAINZ. Digital Magazine, sharing my experience and wisdom with thought leaders and spiritual teachers from across the world. Experiencing betrayal in 2025, I was triggered and inspired to create this article. Triggers – Life’s Lesson’s & Break Throughs, sharing my perspective and insight on how triggers can show up in our lives, challenge us take over but most importantly how triggers can teach us life lessons, going on a deeper dive, experiencing break throughs that can inspire and empower people in this technology digital age.

Author, Sportsman, Coach and Mentor with over 35 Years Experience: Born in Hull, UK, experiencing family difficulties and separation, I grew up in a children’s home from the aged of 6 to 15. Leaving school with no qualifications or direction, I got caught up in the negative influences of life on the streets. Playing soccer, going in to a men’s league, struggling to control my anger, I was banned from playing. Demotivated, losing my way, alcohol, drugs , crime and fighting became my life, soon going through depression. Reconnecting with long distance running, instilled in me at school, going through a mental breakdown and an emotional break through, I experienced a great awakening, connecting to the universal flow, I would go on the journey from the head back to the heart.  of potential. Becoming a sportsman, playing semi-professional soccer-football at the age of 19, coaching in the UK, America and Australia, boxing amateur and professional boxer, I transitioned  from fighting in 1997 to find my calling, working in a school for alternative learning, with youth experiencing emotional and challenging behaviour, developing my BoxWize Skills System. Soon working within mainstream schools, with youth projects, young offenders, professional athletes from premiership football-soccer, Great Britain rugby league, working with boxing world champions, supporting BoxWize within schools, with youth work, projects and events.

28 Years – Studying Stress – Human Biology, Behaviour – Human Technology: Studying stress, human biology and behavior for over 28 years, I created my concept human technology. Becoming a dad in 2013, bringing my Canadian son in to the world, in 2014 I would come to live and work in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Becoming stuck in the immigration system, I would find a way to further develop my work, creating The EnergyWize University Of Life in 2018, providing stress management and skills development, personal development, delivering BoxWize workshops training youth, young hockey players, families, working with the homeless shelter YESS – Youth Empowerment Support Services. Sharing my knowledge and skills, guest speaking in schools, self-publishing my first book, Activating ‘The Universal’ Flow in December 2022.  I’ve seen so much change over the last 12 years, nothing more than the impact of the 2020 global pandemic. A world weakened and polarized by the stress, trauma, fear event after fear event, the confusion and division, many of us taken over, emotionally tired, anxious and worn out.

Left & Right Brain Hemispheres – When The Right Brain Switches Off: In 1997, coming to work in alternative learning, accessing brain gym, I was fascinated to learn about our left and right brain hemispheres. Growing up in the headucation system, conditioned what to think and how to feel in today’s world, experiencing academies, universities and institutions. Along with experiencing stress, fear or trauma, the negative influence of excess technology and media, reactive mind programming and social conditioning, over stimulation, information overload, our right brain, emotionally vulnerable, which absorbs sensory information, can switch off, blocking learning pathways in the brain, leading to many of us becoming stuck in our heads, more left brain dominant. When our right brain hemisphere switches off, our reactive amygdala caveman software blocks the pathway to critical thinking, emotional awareness and heart-mind intelligence.  Becoming more left brain dominant, we can experience cognitive dissonance, struggle with emotions, over sensitive and uncomfortable in conversations, we can switch off, freeze, flight or fight, becoming bullish and aggressive, the self-absorbed ego taking itself serious, easily offended, when challenged to change our beliefs. Becoming left brain dominant we can experience many negative reactions to stress. Interesting, how in politics, there’s a left and right separation, just like the brain, living in a more left brain dominant world, holding high positions of power and responsibility.

Human Biology – Our Reactive Caveman Software: Freeze, Flight, Fight, Fawn, Fake and Flake: In this stressful technology information age of excessive stimulation and over thinking, through our phones and devices we have a direct access to stress and fear.  Stuck in our heads more left brain dominant, disconnected from our hearts, unaware many of us are running our old amygdala reactive caveman software; Freeze, Flight, Fight and Fawn on our internal hard drive and operating system. Let’s look at our human biology and how through fear and stress, many of us can be struggling to deal with our thoughts and feelings, our ability to respond, responsibility, processing through our e-motions, energy in motion. Caveman, Fear, Reaction: Whilst hunting to survive and feed the family, the caveman would experience the potential threat of the saber tooth tiger or woolly mammoth, experiencing fear and danger, triggering the amygdala reactive part of the brain, the caveman would experience Freeze: feeling overwhelmed, powerless and shutting down, consumed and shutting down he would get eaten up in the situation. Flight: the caveman would run and get away, avoiding the stress of dealing with the situation, living to hunt another day. Fight: the caveman would use aggression but could often lose control, caught in a fight for survival. Fawn: is a common reaction in today’s world, known as people pleasing, avoiding uncomfortable conversations, hiding behind our emotions, giving our power and control to appease a person, situation or an authority. Seeing stress and fear taking over, I’ve come to add Fake and Flake to reactive behaviours. Fake are those who have a front, a pretence, an ego driven mentality that hides behind a mask, that retreats in the battle, somebody caught in the act, full of talk but no action. Flake is somebody portraying to be in control, strong but inconstant with following through and getting the job done. The king of excuses, struggling with the emotions, somebody who can’t handle the heat, like a chocolate fire guard that melts under pressure.

Human Technology – The Laptop Analogy: More aware of stress, our human biology and behaviour, our human technology, the screen of a laptop is like our conscious mind and under the keyboard is our subconscious mind-body, running a program and belief system on our internal hard drive and operating system, many of us stuck in reactive patterns of behaviour. Once we come to recognize and internalize these negative reactions and patterns of behaviour in ourselves, we can then learn to detach, creating powerful and lasting change in life. Positive Stress: When we learn to move, exercise, managing stress can bring a positive experience. Going through the process of taking on a mental task or a physical challenge that can bring a sense of achievement. Dealing with negative experiences and stress, we can learn to develop character, resilience and the inner strength to take on life’s challenges.

Triggers – Life’s Lessons and Break Throughs: Now we are more aware of stress, it’s fascinating to see how people perceive life’s triggers, ‘your triggered’, what’s your problem when it can be a shared experience. ‘Your triggered’ when a heated conversation needs resolving. ‘Your triggered’, we need to stop fighting, don’t say what you feel, don’t express your emotions, keep your thoughts to yourself, keep quiet, hold it all in, just bury it and say no more. What I have come to learn is how important our triggers are, it’s how they show up, how our emotions can test us without taking over. How our emotions can be our great teachers, how the energy in motion can guide us, and when we learn to recognize reaction from response, we move from the head back to the heart. In a world where anger and aggression can drive our passion, in a time when you’ve got to have some fight, our triggers can fire us through life’s personal battles. The truth is, many of us have lost the fight and drive, were asleep at the wheel and before you know it, your tires are flat and you’re going nowhere!. When we learn to be the observer, that we are not our thoughts, feelings and emotions, that its just a process, when we recognize the value and experience that triggers can bring in to our life’s, we can find the heart and the willingness to face the uncomfortable truth, embrace the charge, feel it through, triggers are life’s lessons and break throughs that allow us to learn, grow and release our true inner potential.

Trauma Triggers –The Wounded Child: A place I know well, trauma triggers, when we are deeply impacted by life’s circumstances, troubles and events, loss and grief. The wounded child stuck in the past, the emotional confusion, stories that can hold back our journey of healing and growth. The soldier lost at war, a veteran on an invisible battle field, experiencing PTSD, intrusive images and memories from the past, a trigger from a sound, a sensory activation. Trauma triggers in the moment that can take over, reactive mind loops reminding us to do our inner work, learning to process and detach old files on our internal hard drive and operating system. Triggers, subconscious drivers that can impact mental health, addiction to prescription medication, the quick fix and escape through alcohol and drugs. Broken relationships, separating families, leading to homelessness, with a mental health and addictions crises at an all-time high across the world today, with over a 150 million every month, looking for online solutions across the globe.

Parenting Triggers – Like The Wild Wild West!: There’s no doubt that being a parent in this technology information age can bring the many stressors and triggers. There’s no handbook or manual, just the influences, support and guidance around us. Through the external influences and drivers around us, access through phones and devices, our children are growing up in a world bombarded by the over stimulation, easy access and the potential negative influences of excessive technology, screen time, video gaming and meltdowns, reactive programming and social conditioning impacting behaviour. Parenting triggers, it can feel hands on, gun fire ready to implement tough love, boundaries, discipline, self-responsibility and respect, learning good values, learning the right way or the hard way. Guiding our children through the world of influence, distractions, temptations and chaos. Parenting, managing relationships and life, triggered we can get lost in the moment, like a gun fight at the O.K. Corral, bullets flying, a child caught in the cross fire, like the wild wild west, the pain and suffering can hit home. Experiencing separation, co-parenting, overtime we can learn to disarm, coming together, an observant child can go through the process, feeling the response – responsibility,  love and reconnection.

Trigger Traps – Dodging Bullets: Stuck in the entanglement of family dynamics, school or the work place. Growing up Lacking self-awareness, carrying our reactive patterns of behaviour, personalities, perspectives, stress, falling out, drama management, negative energy, emotional disconnect. Trapped in an environment, body language projecting, you can feel it, sense it, it’s in the air, an atmosphere and deadly silence. Dodging bullets, emotional triggers, frustration and anger like a shot of adrenaline, hit with cortisol, anxiety robbing your energy, taking you down. Now you can see the trigger traps, the challenge is to stay responsive, exercise emotional awareness, you can find a way through and a way out, learning to break free, you grow through the process.

Triggered For a Good Shoot Out – Calling It Out: Sharing some different perspectives, managing the stressors and challenges in life, at home, education or in the work place, there can be a little friction in the kitchen and something is brewing!. Again, there’s something in the air, you can feel it, sense it, there’s a buildup driving you inside, a need to say something. Reactivity, body language, the look in the eyes, wrong choice of words, a slip of the tongue, the bullets are loaded, your triggered for a good shootout and it’s time to call it out. Get if off your chest, it’s better out than in, some harsh words firing in, the bullets hit a nerve, the truth can hurt, potential fallout and emotional damage that needs repairing. A heated and challenging conversation, testing emotional awareness, feeling it through we can experience wisdom, bringing good stuff to the surface, triggering an idea, co creating something, the feeling of accomplishment, sharing some new found perspective with somebody. Triggers in business, leadership, coaching and mentorship, triggers can be everywhere, coming with the challenge to not take it personal when there’s a conflict of the ego’s!. Learning to let go or holding on, unforgiving, it’s like taking a poison and expecting somebody else to suffer. 16 years of working as a doorman in pubs and club, when alcohol starts loading the bullets, a strong presence and good communication can disarm a potential shoot out or sometimes the triggers been pulled and you’ve got to manage the gun fight.

Pulling The Trigger: Sports, Coaching and Mentorship:  NHL Hockey: When emotions are running high, triggers in the moment, a release, an instant shoot out, an outburst or a good in your face swear fest. Often, like in NHL hockey, when there’s friction, that shot of adrenaline, when it’s time to go, pulling the trigger, the gloves are down and its game on, more often ending in respect and good sportsmanship. Playing semi-professional football-soccer back in my home city of Hull in the north of the UK, it was intense training on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and Saturday afternoon it was game on. Working class lads, tough characters, competitive games played at high intensity, reputation on the line, it was physical, challenging and demanding, you was in the battle. Boxing amateur and professional it was next level, self-discipline, just you, your fear and drive, early morning runs and intense training. Sparring sessions that would hit hard, test your mindset, your heart and the gut check and how much did you want it. The big fight, fear of the unknown, into the ring, you’re ammunition loaded, you’re ready, ding ding the bell rings and it’s go time. In control, you’re in the moment, fired up, you’re in the battle, first to pull the trigger, you’re winning the war. Over the years and retiring from boxing, I would enjoy the challenge of training and coaching football-soccer teams. Becoming a coach, you got to get your soldiers ready, fire them up with a good team talk, then send them out to battle. Pulling the trigger, in the moment, calling out a situation, firing things up, hitting your point home, getting those big goals. Half time team talk, making those decisions, uncomfortable changes, coaching and mentoring different personalities, some players need a hug, some need a knuckle sandwich and words of encouragement, and some need that look in the eye, a truth bomb and a straight forward rocket up the jacksy!.

Triggered By Betrayal – Loading The Bullets With No Shame: Triggered by betrayal was a new for me. I’ve always lived by a code of conduct, your word is your honour, an handshake, and that look of trust in the eyes always sealed the deal. Now in a time of experiencing dirty tricks and dishonesty, some people can’t help themselves, money and trust is taken over by greed, temptation and opportunity too good to deny. At a time in my life were betrayal could have taken over, taken me down, managing that feeling of wanting to put somebody’s lights out, like back in time before the discipline of boxing and developing my work, staying in control was a great challenge.  Sharing my experience and the process with friends, I come to find betrayal is very common in today’s world. In 2019, building a relationship with somebody in a position of leadership, but stuck in a company with a greater vision, collaborating brands, personally investing in the immigration process, bringing a wealth of wisdom to build a partnership, managing the stress to stay in Canada to be with my son. Building and developing a great partnership needs input, commitment, good communication, truth and transparency. With years of commitment, between 2020 – 2025, great investment in time, meetings, videos created, goals and financial investment. Overtime, seeing the work overload, the lack of energy, will and desire, I was working with a brand that had become a side hustle with a big front, an ego booster to carry on those corporate travels. Soon it was lack of communication, commitment drifting, suspicious moves, betrayers hide behind their actions. My financial input holding a company together, the end of a development phase in sight March 2025. Calling for a meeting, finances and investment, I hear the words ‘It’s all over, there’s nothing left!. Taken over by the disbelief, the abuse of my circumstances, stuck in the immigration system, more words, ‘I kept you in the country’, justifying why he can take all the money, wow this dudes done a 180!. A betrayer, loading the bullets with no shame, preparing the reactive triggers, looking for their own ammunition to use against you.

Why Did I attract This Situation? What Is The Universe Teaching Me? What Do I Need To Learn? Trying to work things out, where’s the investment?, no communication, disconnect, trying to call out the truth, work things out was met with arrogance and ignorance all wrapped up in denial. The look in the eyes, no shame, no emotional investment, a dead look of greed, caught in the act with an unwillingness to take responsibility. Was it desperation or was it a privileged twat from a dog eat dog corporate world of competition, patterns of behaviour lacking truth and integrity. Caught in the act, lawyers and accounts clear to see, committed to the move, avoidance met with justifying lies, betrayers dig a deeper hole. A quote by Mike Tyson’s great mentor Cus D’amato. He say’s to Mike’s trainer Teddy Atlas, ‘No matter what a man says, it’s what he does in the end, he intended to do all along’. So why did I attract this situation?, what’s the universe teaching me?, what do I need to learn?, experiencing an act so low would take me on a deep dive through deception.

Why Did I attract This Situation? What Is The Universe Teaching Me? What Do I Need To Learn? Trying to work things out, where’s the investment?, no communication, disconnect, trying to call out the truth, work things out was met with arrogance and ignorance all wrapped up in denial. The look in the eyes, no shame, no emotional investment, a dead look of greed, caught in the act with an unwillingness to take responsibility. Was it desperation or was it a privileged twat from a dog eat dog corporate world of competition, patterns of behaviour lacking truth and integrity. Caught in the act, lawyers and accounts clear to see, committed to the move, avoidance met with justifying lies, betrayers dig a deeper hole. A quote by Mike Tyson’s great mentor Cus D’amato. He say’s to Mike’s trainer Teddy Atlas, ‘No matter what a man says, it’s what he does in the end, he intended to do all along’. So why did I attract this situation?, what’s the universe teaching me?, what do I need to learn?, experiencing an act so low would take me on a deep dive through deception.

Human Technology: Downloading, Grounding & Integrating – The Deep Dive Through Deception: One thing I know for sure is when you seek the truth, your heart will always guide you through the process. When we activate our human technology, switch on and tune in to our our bright response software on our internal hard drive and operating system. Thoughts electric, emotions magnetic and like frequencies, our hearts electromagnetic, like a transmitters and receivers. we are interconnected to the electromagnetic universe and flow. Universal downloads, grounding and integrating thoughts, feelings and emotions, using insight and intuition, emotional awareness and heart-mind intelligence. Experiencing an ocean of emotions, feeling it through, the energy is in motion, taking me on a deep dive through deception, emotions like teachers, experience teaches wizdom. Back to earth!, You’re in the driving seat, hands on the wheel, your hearts passion driving you through, you’re leaving the past behind. Moving on, moving from reaction to response, from the head back to the heart, feeling inspired to share my perspective, writing this article, how life’s triggers can take us on a journey, teaching us valuable lessons, going deeper, experiencing life’s great break throughs.

Has you can see, taking the road less travelled, over many years of learning, enduring the tough times and personal challenges, creating The EnergyWize University Of Life, my concept human technology, developing The BoxWize Skills System, established in 1997, still going strong, going online as a training system in 2026, 30 years in development in 2027.

You can check out Carl’s work at The EnergyWize University Of Life – energywize.ca

Co-creator of The Empower 2 Recover Foundation –  empower2recover.com /

Co-creator of The GRC Project – Global Recovery Community / globalrecoverycommunity.com